Before Blogger changed it's format I had been thinking of moving to another system. So I have. I now have a clone blog - well almost, I'm not great at working out how to change things and some things are not quite working but if you want to visit please do. It's here. At the moment I'm sort of double posting until I can get the new site properly working. Which also means me getting used to the new format. So please be patient.
Yesterday the letter arrived from ECA confirming the unconditional offer I'd been verbally given last week. I am fantastically happy. Well, I am fantastically happy but with an edge of why couldn't I be fantastically happy, without feeling under par (which I have been for the last week). It has sort of taken the edge off my enthusiasm for everything.
The letter confirms that very soon I will be a fully fledged student again. It is great news and I am really really pleased and very grateful that they liked my portfolio enough to offer me a place.
But I am impatient. I want to shout at them "why has it taken you so long?" I've missed a whole term already and could have been well on the way with one or more modules. And I still have to send "all" my qualifications to them. Don't they believe me? I didn't lie.
Our post is so bad I am worried about loosing them all, and there is the small point of actually finding them. I'll have to dig them out from the back of somewhere. Not sure where I last saw them!
But yes, incase there is any doube, I am happy I got in. I just wish I felt better because now I know all the hard work will begin.
The day started well....Tidied up, did an early food shop, unloaded and put it away, took a trip to the bank to pay in a cheque. Sat in the car whilst SO wrote out his bank slip thingy..........
Bump! Car shakes. Incredulous look flashes between us.
Bloody big blue Volvo decides to nudge into us in his feeble attempt to drive straight into a parking space nose first. He pushes past us, and goes straight onto the pavement annoying several pedestrians before eventually stopping. SO gets out to check the car - MY CAR! Car is ok, unbelievably no mark, no scratch. Good little car. Nasty Volvo.
We wait for Volvo man to come and apologise. Volvo man stays in car. Volvo man has a passenger.
We sit in car still filling out bank slips.
Volvo man looks in his mirror at us - probably sees my scowling face and stays in his car.
SO gets out to go to the bank - very pointedly going past front of car again to peer at it.
Volvo man is looking in his mirror. I think Volvo man is scared.
SO crosses the road to the bank.
Volvo man gets out of car. I scowl at him, thinking he will come and apologise. He walks past me, pretending not to look.
Prickles appear on the back of my neck. I get out of car and look - SO is right there is no mark.
Volvo man appears before I get back into my car.
"Sorry, did I scratch your car?"
"No. But you did just drive right into us"
"Aw, sorry ah didn't feel ut"
(Didn't feel it! How bloody stupid are you, you blind, skinny, geeky, cretinous, runt. You don't just drive through people to get to where you are going. Or have you missed the finer details of driving. Lest it is too obvious, the main objective is to AVOID hitting anything else, including pavement, pedestrians, oh and not to mention other CARS!) "No you wouldn't, you're driving a bloody big Volvo"
"Am apologisin"
(Yeay, right, that's why you're using that obnoxious tone of voice with me just after you have tried to drive through the front end of my car. Are apologies not meant to sound like you mean it?)
Volvo man's partner gets out of the car
"Did we scratch your car?" (all bloody sweetness and innocence tone - perhaps she can read my mind)
"No, you didn't" (But I can tell why your partner drives a Volvo. And by the way you are wearing far too much make-up for this time of the morning. Do you know you look a ridiculous streaky brown colour? And - OMG I think I recognise you but I can't place you at all.)
"I'm really sorry"
They walk off.
I get back in the car. Mulling over where I might know her from. She did do a very good line on smarmy, lets avoid a confrontation type of apologising voice. Real controlled anger management stuff. I think she's some sort of trainer. No, I've just got it, she either is, or reminds me of, someone who works in a building society. I may have had many conversations with her. She has got that customer service type of voice.
SO reappears. A quick trip back home to grab coffee and three boxes of books then it's back out again to try to sell them. I hate throwing out/selling/giving away, books but the house is overcrowded with books so about 150 of them have to be reluctantly re-housed because the numerous bookcases are just too full. I recon we should have had a car boot sale - even 50p a book would have made us about £75. But SO can't be bothered with the hassle and I agree. This trip was more successful. We managed to sell some and then dropped in to buy concert tickets for June with the proceeds. The rest of the books went to a charity shop.
And now to coathangers. Where do they all come from? I have just disentangled over 50, assorted varieties of coat hanger which will have to go to charity too. Everyone knows they breed at the back of wardrobes but my new wardrobe has provoked a massive clear out. It's a bit like evolution. Some have managed to breed well. Natural selection has resulted in many sturdy breeds of coathanger. But the poor, weak, feeble little ones will have to go (they remind me of Volvo man!) They are not robust enough for my clothes and they look *rap in my new wardrobe. Oh have I mentioned, I got a new wardrobe?
It's got three doors and one is a mirror door. It's weird. I can now see all parts of me together in one place when I stand in front of it. Now that may sound strange but I've not had a full length mirror in my room for about 12 years. Which has resulted in me thinking of my body, not so much as a whole thing, but more of a mixture of various un-coordinated parts. And now for the first time in ages I can see the bigger picture - as it were. No more peering in a tiny 4"x12" mirror to attempt to put on mascara in the morning. No more standing 12 feet away from the dimly lit hall mirror to see if I have managed to put an outfit together which looks passable but which has no head and no feet.
But now I can see myself from head to foot, with good lighting behind me and feel that I am a whole body again. But I think I am a very short body! I always felt taller when I was made up of two halves. It is a very enlightening feeling being put back together again....except that the bigger picture probably is a bit bigger, or at the very least, distributed differently than it was 12 years ago!
posted by Red Writer
Friday, May 7
It's over. Thank goodness. All in the hands of the Gods now. Last night SED was still pouring over maths past papers. She was still working on them up until an hour before the exam this morning. Despite me thinking it should all have been done several weeks, even days ago, I bit my tongue and offered as much support as I could - which was virtually nothing on the ability front but loads on the moral boosting, feeding, pampering and logical thinking bit. It may have helped. I hope it helped. With a history of nerves before any big event (and believe me this was a huge event for her) I was pleasantly surprised she was up-beat, positive and raring to go - despite the extremes of marks after checking the answers! If she gets the good marks she will be a star, the bad ones would be a miserable fail (in the eyes of the examiners - not me) - such inconsistency is still worrying but, I fear a family trait!
And now it's all over. She's relieved, but is not too positive about the outcome of some of the papers (system means she had to sit 4). Now we just have to wait until mid August to get the results. So time to forget all about it and head down for the next one - French - eugh! Oh God I remember it all so vividly. My personal time-machine has transported me right back to this awful place. But at least I am here to give her encouragement and try to make life as easy as possible for her for the next few weeks.
I feel so helpless. It got so bad that I just had to take myself off shopping and treated myself to the clothes I didn't buy on my birthday. Sort of an early and belated celebration all rolled into one. Yes, of course I bought SED and SYD something. Poor SYD is taking a bit of a back seat at the moment so I think a bit of TLC and attention on her is called for before she starts feeling left out. It's hard work being a mum!
And now it's the weekend, a couple of days of spring cleaning and gardening to look forward to.....Ehmm, well maybe not, once SO gets back from the latest business trip I think we'll find time to head West and do some hill walking instead.
posted by Red Writer
Thursday, May 6
It's strange how intollerant we all can be. Today, several people came in to moan at me or my colleagues and I felt myself thinking, why are you telling me/us this? And then I thought about how often I try to confide in or moan to others and wonder if they think the same thing.
I guess, we should all be allowed to sound off occassionally, it's what keeps us sane. But at the moment I'm not really in the mood to shoulder other people's worries. SED is in the middle of exams and unless you've been through it yourself I don't think people realise what a worrying time it is for the parents let alone the poor souls sitting the exams.
Yesterday every fourth year student (and some younger) in Scotland was sitting their standard grade English. When asked what she wrote in her creative writing paper, SED replied "a story". Let's hope she was more communicative on paper than she was after the event. But I do sympathise that was the third day of exams in a row and she was/is totally exhausted already.
Tomorrow is the dreaded Maths exam and she seems positive but I can't help worrying. Even SO doesn't appreciate how mothers feel - until it was brought to his attention by a colleague who's son was sitting English yesterday. He decided that perhaps he wasn't empathic enough with respect to exams. Meanwhile I'm probably more nervous than SED and I along with every other parent going through the stresses of exams can't wait until the next few weeks are over. And then there's fifth year where they'll be told on day one that standard grades mean nothing! Right now, I don't think so but it's all relative I suppose.
posted by Red Writer
I really like Picasso's Garcon a la Pipe Wish I'd had the £46 million to pay for it.
posted by Red Writer
Wednesday, May 5
Went to see Uncle Varick at the Lyceum last night. Despite a mixture of reviews on the web, I thought this production was excellent - perhaps my seat in the middle of the front row helped to keep me engrossed, but for the second time at the theatre this season, I was reduced to tears by the force and magnitude of the acting.
Madeleine Worrall's (Shona) ending speach was very powerful and more so because you could see the tears welling in the eyes of several members of the cast when they came out to take their bow - including Brian Cox. I think when you know the actors feel they have performed well and can move themselves to tears you know you have just watched something worth seeing.
Now for the name dropping bit ...... John Byrne lives opposite a relative and he and his kids have been at the occassional parties I have been to up North. I couldn't help be reminded of the people who live there and at times wondered if some of his inspiration had come from people I know. It made me feel more involved and preocupied me a little but not enough to distract from the wonderful acting.
And just to be overly picky, there were a couple of points I would have raised with the behind the scenes people, (apart from to say the set was to the usual high standard of this season). 1. The Glenmorangie in the bottle was just a little on the dark side and they should have watered down their apple juice or cold tea or whatever substitute they used and 2. In the programme Tain has been magically transported to Sutherland, which will be a surprise to those actually living in Tain, who have always thought that they were living in Rosshire!
posted by Red Writer
Tuesday, May 4
Purchased a fairly standard Ikea thing to put clothes in. Ideally a beautiful wooden framed one with lovely doors would have been my choice but beggars can't be choosers so it was whatever looked the most reasonable in the price range. The bonus was getting it all in the car and home in one piece.
Putting it together was relatively simple - SO, in "don't talk to me until this thing is up and the bed is back in the room" mode. But who can complain about grumpy, intolerant, bullish behavior when one has just got a new carpet, wardrobe and soon (when it eventually gets delivered) new bed. Well I can/do, when I am trying my best to keep the whole house on an even keel so that the exam nerves are kept at bay. SED came home extremely tired but first day is over uneventfully, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the next few weeks.
The frame is up but no doors yet. My clothes are still in various rooms around the house - which makes getting dressed in the morning very difficult. But after all these years, I finally have a bedroom which is beginning to look like a bedroom and not just a room with a bed and somewhere to put clothes!
posted by Red Writer
Monday, May 3
SED started her exams today. Art for the next two days then English and Maths on Friday. I think it will be a long week!
Bedroom carpet looks wonderful. Even better is the fact that SO fixed the squeeky floorboards which have been the bain of my life for the last 12 years - that and the disgusting carpet which was on top of them. New carpet is soft, clean, lovely. (And surprisingly like one we bought about 14 years ago when living in a flat! - who says taste and fashions change!). And the empty wardrobe didn't survive enough to put clothes back into it so it's a trip to Ikea tonight to look at new ones.
posted by Red Writer
Sunday, May 2
A beautiful early morning walk by the sea whilst the sun was still out was great. I even went paddling as we walked along the waters edge. But the task of emptying my wardrobe, to make it easier for the delivery of the new bedroom carpet on Monday called me back too soon. How did I manage to get so many clothes in one wardrobe? - not to mention all the other things which seem to make up it's overcrowded contents!
posted by Red Writer
Saturday, May 1
Haven't posted for a while and have been contemplating updating the blog but time is as usual against me so things will resume as they were for a little while longer until I can work out how to do a few technical and designy things.
There was a birthday yesterday. It involved me, a friend, shopping, pampering in the form of a facial at "Jenners", more pampering in the form of lunch at "Harvey Nicks", more shopping - all done in an Ab Fab way. It's great trying on clothes you would never buy - the see-through clingy £??? was interesting. God knows what was meant to be worn underneath but it wasn't M&S's best. Then it was home for a carry out, huge chocolate birthday cake, champagne, more champagne, family, friends and more champagne. All very nice and sociable.
It was a birthday which has taken a long time to creep up on me and I have to say one which has made me think more about my age than any year before. But now it is past it doesn't seem such a big number. It's just a number right? Well two numbers and if you add them together they do make quite a big number but I can't do anything about it so......
