Classes
Art classes start tonight and I am looking forward to life being different again. There has been too much work and too much stress lately: long hours, working days off and weekends and a boredom and lethargy with everything I have been doing. I look forward to the excitement of being back in classes and meeting up with friends old and new.
I haven't written much because it has seemed too boring even to me, to write how black everything looks from the hole I have dug myself into. When I have felt fine and wanted to write about good things I've done, it's been too busy, or my eyes have given up on me. Age brings with it annoying things like bad eye-sight and eye strain. Most of the time the screen in front of me swims and flickers and induces sickly headaches. All of it caused by the type of work I've been doing but it's been bad enough to keep me away from the pc when I haven't been forced to stay there.
But autumn is here, the nights are fair drawin' in and leaves are falling. With them time passes and the world keeps on spinning on it's familiar axis. Dreadful things have happened all over the world and although I have felt shocked by them all, I haven't felt able to write anything that might contribute to those who really need the help and support. Sometimes it is so depressing to hear the news. It brings a whole new meaning to the phrase, no news is good news because it seems that there really is a lack of good news stories around.
I'm hoping that in the next few weeks things will fall into place and the unsettled feelings will go so that I feel strong enough to allow the creative side to surface again and carry on the fight. There are still decisions to be made - mainly for me by others' and until then I am in limbo. It's not a bad place to be but it's not great. It means I can't plan anything and that makes me feel strangely powerless and helpless, not to mention somewhat pathetic.
I had wonderful plans about three weeks ago but time has allowed many doubts and fears to creep in making me wonder whether I've got it all wrong. But the dice is rolling and I have no idea where it will stop. I just hope that when it does, it will all be good.
Patience they say, patience.
Red Writer on 10.05.05 @ 04:19 PM gmt [link]
I like flowers. I like flowers a lot.
